Absence of Life
by oceanblues496
Summary: A terrible accident has occured. Orihime Kurosaki is put in a hospital because of it. She is told of a loss. Her husband refuses to let her feel haunted by the tragedy. Although, she only asks for one thing. A chance of renewal and to not forget her child.
1. Death by Night

**Author's Note: **This idea for the story hit me out of nowhere, and at first, I didn't want to write it because of how sad it was. As I tried to push it to the back of my mind, it simply would not go away! I think it's because of all the IchixHime family fics I've been reading lately. Maybe that's where the inspiration came from? I've been telling myself, "Don't write anymore stories. You can't handle keeping track of them all." Then for whatever reason, I find more things to write about. *sigh* Well, thank you for even clicking. If you can honestly give me you're opinion of this story, it would be great! I just want to know if it's too touchy of a subject (because I worry like that) and if it is, I will take it down. Thank you.

**Suggestion: **While I wrote this, I was listening to _I giorni_ by _Ludovico Einaudi_ and in another tab typed in 'rainy mood.' If you play them at the same time, I think this will give you the sense of emotions Ichigo was experiencing.

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong respectfully to Tite Kubo, the creator of Bleach.

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><p><span>Chapter 1 - Death by Night<span>

There had been an eighteen-wheeler truck barreling down the road and she knew what her instant reaction had been because of it. Orihime Kurosaki let out the loudest scream she could possible. If doing that would save her life, if it would somehow miraculously warn the aliens to take her away before impact, she would do it with all the force she could muster in her voice. That was all her brain allowed her to remember.

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><p>He had received a phone call from Uryu around seven o'clock during the night. He had expected it to be his wife, who had not contacted him prior to her leaving their small flat two hours ago for an OBGYN appointment. Ichigo had insisted he'd leave work early just for her so she'd be able to have someone not only to drive her to the medical building, but to be there also for moral support. They've only had two check-ups with the doctor since discovering they were going to be parents, and for both of those, the young man had attended with his wife. That was why he had found Uryu's late call to him to be slightly strange. What particular business did he have that couldn't wait for another time?<p>

"Kurosaki am I ever glad to hear you, and that's not saying much," Ishida said huskily into the phone when it was answered.

"Shut your damn mouth, Quincy. If you're looking to talk to Orihime, she's not here," Ichigo grounded out angrily. Instantly expecting a harsh comment, Ichigo waited for the gentleman to make a remark on his part. However, one never came. There was a weighty pause from the other side, almost as if his friend was debating something mentally in his head. Ichigo keenly listened in on the background noise, managing to make out the sound of an ambulance siren. It wasn't too usual.

After all, Uryu's job took place at the local hospital, collaborating along side his father much to his displeasure. He must have been working an extra shift.

"I-I don't know how to tell you this," the Quincy whispered. What the hell was going on? Why was the doctor holding back? Ichigo could feel his heart begin to race as the silence continued to drag on further. He started moving towards the kitchen table - which was only two short steps away - and slid his car keys off the polished surface. His attention briefly shifted over to his shoes that he abandoned since walking through the door moments ago.

"It's Kurosaki-san."

He should have known. His wife tended to trip over her own two feet quite often; this wasn't starting to sound as if it were an emergency. The twenty-four-year-old slowly slipped on his sneakers (just in case) and then came to his door, pausing himself from opening it as he waited for Uryu to talk again. Although, when he thought back to the doctor's few choice of words and how low he had said them, maybe he had been wrong in misjudging his wife's condition.

"She was in a car accident. No, it wasn't a car. Actually, it was a truck. I'm sorry, but things aren't looking so well. You need to come to the hospital right now."

It was as if a ton of bricks had come hurling at him from the sky. Ishida better have been telling the damn truth, or else Ichigo would simply not be able to control himself if it were some twisted form of a joke. A car crash...that was what he had said. It must have been a mistake. His Orihime would never be so reckless, especially when there was new life harboring inside of her. The more he told himself that such an occurrence couldn't happen, the deeper he put himself in denial. His head was spinning in every different direction and he found himself needing a breath of fresh air. The walls of the couple's recently purchased flat seemed to be suffocating him from the inside. The orange-haired man glanced out of the small, square window that was constructed in the door. There was rain and it wasn't falling lightly. Winter had only just begun, all the further explanation for the roads to be fragile as ever. His precious wife, the only woman he ever needed. Where did her life have a place in the world now?

"Orihime's pregnant, Ishida. You of all people have to know by now. We were trying to hold off...," if he kept talking, it would ensure his mind to keep steady for a while. Until, he at least had driven away in his car. Ichigo hadn't even been able to set his legs into motion the entire time since approaching the door. He knew standing and waiting around to discern his wife's situation wasn't an option. It shouldn't have even entered his head. Uryu continued to talk into the cell phone, carrying on how he was fully aware of Orihime's pregnancy - because after all - he was a doctor and all their friends had been betting money for some time on whether or not there was a bun in the oven.

Ichigo didn't care about the bet. Quite honestly, he didn't need the comforting either. He could discern Ishida was only trying to lighten the situation, when he fully knew Ichigo's mind was reeling with questions. For the trembling husband, what mattered most wasn't being said and that notion angered him. If the worst had happened, the doctor wouldn't dare reveal the passing over the phone to his friend. He had the right to know in person. Yet, there was light in Ichigo's heart that wasn't giving up hope. His wife needed all the faith she could possibly obtain.

He couldn't find the inner strength to ask Uryu one more question that the doctor would probably deem the second, most important. However, upon knowing his wife's life hanged in the balance of his friend's hands as they spoke, he let the inquiry slip from the tongue. Ichigo prayed he was wrong in the assumption of not asking about his future child's welfare. The young man could meerly not bare terrible, additional news that had already been given to him.

Glancing back outside into the darkness, the Soul Reaper tightened every muscle in his entire body. _Enough of running in circles_. _Orihime needs me more than ever_, he confided. He was going to drive the car as fast as it would let him. The hospital wasn't far from where the Kurosaki's resided and in a matter of minutes, Ichigo would be standing at its automatic doors. Hopefully with the easiness of knowing his spouse was out of the medical hazard zone.

"Do me a favor," Ichigo murmured into the receiver, "Tell Orihime I'm coming for her." Before the Quincy could grumble in the last word, the orange-haired adult pocketed his phone in his pants. Whipping the door aside with a loud thump, Ichigo darted down the upper floor's walkway and preceded his pursuit in the staircase that led to the parking lot. When his shoes hit the slap of pavement, he ran out to his car with the rain pelting his head through the way. Unlocking the driver's side, Ichigo slipped inside and shut the car door as swiftly as possible. After that, he turned the keys in the ignition and the engine of the vehicle growled with power. This was going to be the shortest ride he'd ever take to the hospital.

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><p>Uryu Ishida met him at the infirmary entrance with an expression that Ichigo couldn't quite distinguish for himself. Even after all the years of the Soul Reaper knowing the prodigy, the pale-skinned man continued to wear glasses. They were firmly in position on the ridge of his nose, while his mouth assembled into a thin line. Upon Ichigo closely approaching him, he could tell his comrade was worse for wear. The flickering light of the hospital's sign had been overshadowing the doctor's face from the distance. The rain still had not slowed down in the least and besides for the occasional car that whizzed by, a clap of thunder could be heard above Ichigo's head.<p>

The physician stuck out his hand for Ichigo to take and tightly grasped it when the man arrived at the doors. There wasn't an exchange of words from neither adult. A heavy stillness swarmed around them in the dark of the night. The crisp wind of winter crept up the two friend's faces as they stood at the foot of the medical edifice.

Eventually, Uryu coaxed Ichigo inside to the waiting room, where only a few steps away the ER was located. Ichigo - not always the most reliable in finding spiritual pressure - felt a certain pull towards the metal doors that separated him from Orihime.

Then, the dreaded question was spoken.

"How is she?" he asked breathlessly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. In turn, he did not look at Uryu. There was a voice inside his head that told him he should avoid the sympathy stares; at least until he saw his wife for himself. The doctor slipped his glasses off his face and brought them to his lab coat. He grabbed one of the hanging ends and cleaned his lenses with the fabric.

"Barely stabilized, much to the staff's efforts. After I ended the call with you, we were able to jump start her heart with the AED," he briefly explained the mayhem that had just occurred in the hospital. With every muster of energy Ishida still owned, he worked diligently to save Orihime's life, and the baby's for that matter. Not only was she a dear friend to him, she was a person who poured her very heart into making everyone else happy. The woman also had a dedicated husband who would do anything for her. Thus, Uryu's efforts were only ten times more urgent.

That was all Ichigo would need to hear. He picked up his head and ran a sweaty hand through his unruly hair. He could still feel the interior of his body shaking at the mere thought of losing his Orihime. No one would ever be able to replace her - if that's what the outcome had turned out to be. His tongue tasted dry as he opened his mouth once again to question the Quincy.

"I want to see her. Can I see her?"

Uryu placed his glasses back onto his nose and cleared his throat of the instant lump that was forming. _Conflicted_. He was trying to stray away from that word. When officially a doctor, being at odds with yourself was one of the worst issues that could happen. They needed to be fast on their feet and never waver from their judgment, even it were the wrong one.

There was no movement. The only sound that could be heard in the empty hallway was the buzzing of the ventilation system. Occasionally, the rain would brush against the building until it settled back down to a little patter. Ichigo's patience had reached it's limit. Who was he kidding? He didn't need permission to leave! He turned from the man and began to rush towards the emergency doors.

"Kurosaki," Ishida called as his comrade descended farther from him, "Come back here."

He couldn't tolerate the wait any longer. He needed to move through the doors and head in the direction of the nurse's station. Ichigo didn't have the time to listen to more bad news from Ishida.

Without glancing over his shoulder, Kurosaki barked, "What is it now?"

This time, there was no missing a beat. As much as it pained the doctor to finally tell the man the truth.

"It's about the baby," the educated physician retorted.

Somewhere inside of him, there was a crack. A throbbing one that traveled throughout his entire body. He had sworn not to give up hope. Hell, he never believed in that sort of magic before Rukia appeared to him on that fateful night his life was altered. His wife always told him to remain optimistic, even when he found it very hard. The sheer thought of something happening to their unborn child didn't even seem possible. Then again, Orihime getting into a car wreck also wasn't avoidable. Dammit! He felt so useless, as if he were trapped in a corner with a wall blocking him from the outside world. It was as if he was being tested. Maybe to show how weak he really was and that he wasn't a suitable protector for anyone - especially the woman he was so deeply in love with.

Still facing the doorway to the emergency room, Ichigo said slowly, "Not now. I need to know if Orihime's awake first."

Before the substitute Soul Reaper could even budge an inch from his position, Uryu interrupted him from the reunion he so desperately anticipated.

"Don't you think she'll ask?" the doctor snapped. Throwing his eyes angrily in the direction of the voice, Ichigo stalked towards Ishida with a fierceness that frightened even the Quincy. Grabbing the man by the collar, Ichigo's face contorted slightly as he studied his friend's appearance. He seemed a little shaken, much thanks to the scare Ichigo had just given him, yet he remained completely professional. _That was all that it was to him_, Kurosaki bitterly thought, _a job_.

"What are you implying?" he spat. The grip around the doctor's jacket did not loosen in the slightest.

Truly, Uryu was wishing he could disappear from underneath the wrath of Ichigo's intense glare. Who was he to decide who lived and died in this world? Who had the better chance of survival? It was the perceptive which, was examined every day. He wasn't playing in a form of God; he was only doing his job. He also had been getting too close to the fire. The task of saving Orihime Kurosaki and her unborn child had become personal. If there had been some way to hear the woman's cry for help or to sense a single tremor in her spiritual pressure, the exhausted individual would have known. Alternatively, at the very least, been aware of such a dilemma.

Nontheless, ever since Orihime's friends and himself had started to presume she might be pregnant, Uryu found it very hard to keep track of her. If such a task was difficult for him to accomplish, he could only imagine the stress Ichigo was under to be assured his wife remained safe. Even then, as the hot-tempered adult had him by his coat and was practically on the verge of threatening him, Uryu did not feel the hate against him materialize. Instead, in the ember eyes Ichigo owned, there was fear. His pupils were more dilated then before and his frame shook from head to toe.

The doctor heeded a sigh. There was no further use in putting off the death. With his neck being pressed against by the palm of Ichigo's hand, Uryu managed huskily to get his words out, "I'm telling this to you as Kurosaki-san's friend, as _your_ friend, that what happened to your wife will severely break her in more ways than one."

"Spit it out already, dammit!" the husband lashed bitterly.

Uryu silently asked for forgiveness for what he was about to do.

"She miscarried. It would have been you're first son." It was the truth. He couldn't have put it in a more simpler way. His comrade - who once he had declared his enemy - emerged before him defeated.

The young husband couldn't even begin to imagine the innumerable pain his wife would suffer over the course of the upcoming months. The loss would absolutely tear her apart. Ichigo could distinctly picture the gorgeous and wide smile Orihime had glued on her face when he had come home from work two months ago with shocking results. Of course, however, he had been confused. After all, the following mornings leading up to it were harsh on the woman. She'd wake almost every sunrise and the Soul Reaper would hear her extracting unknowns into their toilet. They hadn't been trying to get pregnant. Although if the couple had conceived, a new addition to their small family wouldn't change a thing.

"No, you're not making any sense," Ichigo whispered briskly.

Nothing about today exactly had any logical meaning. He could have never foreseen Orihime inhaling almost her last breath. Or even that his first "child" (he wasn't sure if he had the right to call the fetus the name) would be killed alongside in the chaos. His life wasn't completely over, although it may had seemed like it was at the time. He still had Orihime Kurosaki, his beautiful wife of two years and who had been his girlfriend for five.

"It was the force of the trauma she encountered. Her body simply could not support the stress of it," the Quincy solemnly explained. The pressure around the doctor's neck had ceased for the moment. Ichigo had pulled away from him and swayed his head at the man's words. It was the truck driver's fault, every part of it.

If there were a name suggested from the crash site, he would make sure he had it for the coming months. His wife needed justice, just like anybody else who had found themselves in his shoes. For a brief second, he wondered if he should call his father and let him know what had occurred during the night. However, he then quickly decided against it. He only desired to be with Orihime for the time being.

"I knew, had a suspicion if you would. I was just too cowardly to ask," Kurosaki confided.

Uryu nodded his head once in understandment. He quickly readjusted the collar on his coat that had been ruffled from Ichigo's hard force. There wasn't much left to say in regards to the entire ordeal that had changed the lives of his two close friends. It was a tragedy and the misfortunes, which followed with it, were heartbreaking.

"I'm deeply sorry."

Once again, Ichigo continued his action from earlier, when he first arrived at the hospital. He avoided Ishida's cerulean blue eyes. The gaze that targeted him only could be described as suffocating. He didn't want to be in the presence of the man who looked like he could pass out any second. Turning on his heel, Ichigo slowly walked to the entrance of the emergency room. He planted a single hand firmly on one of it's metal twin doors and allowed himself to swallow in a breath of anguish. On the other side, he would find only one person. The person being Orihime. No longer did a child exist in her womb. She was simply herself, back to who she was two or three months ago before she ever became pregnant. Although, she wasn't completely what she used to be. There was no doubt in Ichigo's mind that she had broken bones and lacerations on her body.

He'd seen it all before. She's been scarred countless times by unknown spirits.

However, the attackers had been hollows. A supernatural phenomenon that he could mostly control and eliminate.

This time it was different. It was a human who had caused this pain on his new family and for that, he was at a loss of words. Could he murder someone in cold blood for what had been done? Was he inhumane as the rest of the world?

Ichigo Kurosaki pushed the door aside and lodged one foot into the opening. He suddenly remembered Uryu's condolences, which had only happened moments ago. It already felt like a lifetime. He slightly glanced over his shoulder, giving the doctor a sad smile.

"Please tell Orihime in person. She'll need everyone's support."

Then he turned and ran down the hallway of the hospital's main floor. He didn't look back. Instead, he looked ahead - just as he would in the next half year.


	2. Listen and Be Brave

**Author's Note: **Thank you all for the flattering comments and for those who added this story into Favorites/Story Alert. I was really nervous about posting this onto the site, but because everyone gave such encouraging reviews I couldn't help _not_ to continue this plot line. My mind has been officially made up and I will try my best to update as often as I can when available. Please read, review - and most importantly - enjoy!

**Suggestion:** Listen to "A Drop In The Ocean" by _Ron Pope_ and/or "Fix You" by _Coldplay_

**Disclaimer:** All characters belong respectively to Tite Kubo, the creator of Bleach.

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><p><span>Chapter 2 - Listen and Be Brave<span>

He burst through the emergency doors in a flustered rush. Ichigo's strained heart couldn't beat any faster in the haste; he needed to be with his injured wife. Ishida had stalled him long enough from only moments before; however, in his anger over the matter, the Substitute Soul Reaper was slightly grateful to the skilled doctor. At least, Ichigo was prepared as to what he was exactly walking into. He sensed Orihime would be resting, or maybe even waiting for his arrival. It would be easier on him if she were asleep so he could gather what he would say to her once it came time to discuss the passing of the baby.

Either way, he knew his job as a husband was thoroughly being assessed. Even when Orihime and he were dating, they had dealt with struggles of their own once before. Although, this new hardship that now carried itself heavily on his shoulders alone, was really making Ichigo question the importance of life and death. He never dreamt of this reality, never thought it would happen to him. Yes, he's lost friends in raging wars and battles in the Soul Society and he missed the friendships he used to have with them. Yet, this occurrence was different. It was his wife, the center of his universe, and he knew this could make her stronger or break her mental stability piece by piece. It would be hard, to say the least. He first needed to get the information off his chest before he could properly judge. He hated not knowing what her reaction would form out to be. Ichigo only wished they could start over; go back to the day Orihime first found out about the pregnancy. It was a memorable moment and a place in time where Ichigo felt truly elated.

Maybe if he closed his eyes and shut his ears off from the outside, he'd be able to think straight! His head felt like it would explode any second from the intense thoughts he was having. An emerging headache - no, that didn't seem entirely accurate. The headache that he assumed would rise had already been present, his mind just detaching from the pain for a brief second. Now, he found himself completely swarmed in confusion.

He had walked farther than he had meant to down the hallway. How could he not have noticed the nurse's station? Ichigo kneaded the back of his neck with an aggravating sigh. He really needed to remain focused at the task at hand - locating Orihime. He turned his back on the dimly lit corridor and retraced his footsteps back to a crossroad in the hospital. When faced with no general direction on where to go, Ichigo was beginning to hallucinate. The entire building was six floors. If he started from the bottom and worked his way up, he'd be making his wife wait even longer if she were awake and anticipating. He began to rotate his body to the side.

_Let's try the next hallway_, sincerely giving into the thought of not asking for directions.

However, when his feet moved a centimeter forward - blind to his eye and haziness - he collided into a young woman in a pink uniform. She fell harshly onto the cold floor, the files she was carrying strewn across the middle of where Ichigo stood. At first, the married man wasn't sure what had happened. He had heard a short-lived scream and a smack on a hard surface. Being how the he was in a hospital, he assumed it might have been a patient refusing treatment in a nearby room. Although, when his eyes snapped back to reality once again, they were drawn to the helpless person on the floor. Immediately, he wiped his sweaty hands on the material of his pants, muttering an apology as he helped the woman to her feet. After she collected herself, Ichigo bent down to pick up the files he had forced her to drop because of his own stupidity. Rising, the Substitute Soul Reaper handed the paperwork to her and finally connected gazes with her.

She was a nurse - a very young one to say the least - who looked as if she had just graduated from college. He felt so mortified. Here he was, too busy wrapped in his own thoughts, and he hurt an innocent bystander!

"I'm so sorry, I was just -," he was cut off from finishing his sentence.

"Looking for someone?" she tilted her head at a small angle, offering a warm smile.

Ichigo, a bit flustered from her consoling gesture, managed a nod of the head. The nurse readjusted her tired arms from dropping the files and took a step towards Ichigo to examine him. The man's face was painted a pink tinge, as he could smell the woman's perfume at the closing distance between them.

"Do I know you?" Ichigo gulped with hesitation.

The young woman moved back and gave an uncomfortable laugh. She pushed her thick and long, black hair away from her face and pushed a smile once more onto her lips.

"No, but I may know you. Are you close friends with Ishida-sama?"

Immediately, a response was spat from his hateful mouth, "Hell, no! We're just acquaintances with common threads."

The nurse bit her bottom lip, trying to refrain from prying into this stranger's business. To ease the awkward tension from the earlier incident, she only wanted to find a simple topic to talk about with the man to stray away from her tumble. Now, it seemed she might have made it worse.

"Can I ask you a question?" Kurosaki used a softer tone with the frightened newbie.

She pleasantly looked up from her hair, now looking forward to any assistance she could provide for the disoriented man. The woman gave him a hopeful stare.

"I'm looking for my wife's room number. It seems I overlooked it and lost track of where I was going. Would you be able to point me to the nurse's station?" Ichigo's reddened eyes pleaded with her. When she noticed this, the first image that appeared in her head was that of a lost puppy. This man was agonizing over something, and she for one, knew that similar feeling. She had seen it walk through the hospital every day since she's worked there, and nothing torments the heart more than not knowing what may await you in the future.

She perked up at hearing the word _wife_, and suddenly glanced down at his ring finger. There was indeed a gold band on it. The nurse prayed nothing tragic had happened to his beloved spouse. "Sure, it's right down the end of this hallway," she directed her finger past Ichigo's shoulder. He whirled his body away from the nurse and stared at the seemingly plain corridor. Every single one looked about the same - at least now he was one-step closer to Orihime than he was before. Turning back to the woman, he politely bowed and thanked her for her hospitality.

No further words were exchanged between the nurse and Substitute Soul Reaper, for Ichigo had set back out on his mission in hopes of finding the nurse's station without giving the woman a chance to speak. Thankfully, there wasn't far of a walk he needed to pursue.

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><p>Finally, he knew where his wife was! He never imagined trying to find a single room digit would have been that difficult. Nevertheless, it had been and he couldn't have been more thrilled to see Orihime's face. The nurse at the station said her room was on the third floor, the number one hundred sixty-five attached with it.<p>

He had just taken the elevator upstairs; now all that remained was finding the appropriate room. He could sense his heart begin to race at the mere image of Orihime. Ichigo descended further into the faintly lit hallway, studying every number tag that was next to a room. At least now, he felt he was getting closer.

It was at the moment that his feet began to pick up pace as he passed one hundred sixty. There were only six rooms left as he was getting nearer to the end of the corridor. His wife would be resting in one, not knowing he was coming to comfort her and tell her how much he loved her. As he approached, Ichigo's body came to a halt as he arrived at the foot of Orihime's hospital room. The door that led to inside was open and Ichigo could hear the beeping of a machine making a rhythmic noise. The sound always drove him crazy at his own father's clinic. He shook his head side to side, clearing his mind of any useless thoughts. He was going to walk in without much of a mention about the baby. He would keep his composure until she mentioned the topic - which he was positive she would. Kurosaki wouldn't press the matter. After all, he's the one who bears the duty of telling her their child doesn't exist any further.

The exhausted individual placed each foot in front of the other, a heavy aura encompassing around him. As he stepped inside, every ounce of uncertainty he had was brushed away by the smiling face of his wife. Although, the sight of her injuries made his blood boil all over again from earlier. Orihime's left leg was elevated in the air by a sling, the foot peaking out and covered in bandages. Her arm on the same side was wrapped snugly in a pink cast. The issue that bothered Ichigo the most was his wife's actual upper body. The woman's forehead was draped in thick gauge, areas of blood managing to seep through where the deepest cuts had been made. Below her bottom lip, a line of stitches could be seen visible in the corner. He was certain the rest of her body was battered and bruised on top of what he could see on the surface.

"Ichi-kun," Orihime's voice softly called, eyes lighting up at the presence of her husband. The orange-haired man offered her a weak smile before walking over to the bed she rested in comfortably. The Substitute Soul Reaper bent down towards his wife and planted a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. He pulled back swiftly, not wanting to linger too long in case his small touch caused her any amount of pain.

"Is there anything you need?" he questioned her with a sullen gaze. Orihime shook her head. In response, she patted her available hand on the bed and commanded her husband to sit next to her.

Ichigo hesitantly obeyed, pressing his body weight on the edge of the mattress as he took a spot by his beaten wife. At seeing Ichigo's uneasiness of the situation, Orihime giggled. He acted as if she were fragile glass. She was positive he was going to ask questions. He always seemed to know when she needed comforting and at that point, in time, she really was in need of it. The silent man inched his hand over to Orihime's and clasped it warmly in his hold.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" he spoke. Mrs. Kurosaki shifted underneath the bed covers as she propped herself on the pillows. She squeezed her husband's hand to reassure him.

"Not at all, Ichi-kun!" she tried her best to give a heartfelt smile. There was no use in telling him that it did hurt. She knew he wouldn't be able to do much besides be there for moral support. Nevertheless, she wasn't complaining, it was certainly enough! Just to know his presence was close to her made Orihime sink into the big pillow even further. The tired woman could feel sleep encroaching upon her as Ichigo's warm hand still held her own. It had probably been a bad idea staying awake. However, she was well aware that Ichigo wouldn't let her off that easy with just a four-word comment. Ichigo wasn't dumb. He didn't go to college with a full scholarship for being brainless. Much to people's surprise and teasing, her husband had an idea of what he was talking about most of the time.

Ichigo's eyes flashed a glimpse of pain.

"You're lying," he deeply rumbled. She was being absolutely ridiculous! Did Orihime seriously think lying would make her injuries go unnoticed? They were as clear as day and even though it was getting late into the night, his vision wasn't playing tricks on him. All he really wanted from the self-healer was the truth. Her sincere honesty was one of the characteristics he loved about his wife. For a complete stranger, she would give the coat off her back. You could be a murderer with blood covered on your hands and she wouldn't judge.

She had been expecting this. He was in a temperamental mood and she shouldn't have been testing it. Orihime could see the perplexed frown on his forehead, the one she knew that appeared when he was angry. At the moment, she didn't want to fight. It was getting harder to speak. The woman needed to watch what she said in order to compose her husband.

Orihime's voice increased an octal of a note, "I'm sorry, I wish I had been more careful."

She hadn't been exactly sure how her accident had occurred in the first place. Mrs. Kurosaki had been driving home from the OBGYN appointment that had been organized earlier in the day. The scheduled meeting had taken longer than she expected, being how there were more women in the office than usual. It seemed everyone had come to see the doctor on the same day! After being called in a half hour later than her original time, Orihime and her doctor discussed the effects of the pregnancy she had been experiencing. Besides for her occasional morning sickness and diet being changed, everything seemed to be normal. Once that was recorded, the doctor graciously told the soon-to-be mother if she'd like to identify the sex of the baby.

Ichigo remained silent, not knowing what to say after his wife's sudden apology. She shouldn't have apologized. There was nothing in his right mind that she should be sorry for at all. It was the suspected truck driver's entire burden to carry.

"It wasn't your fault, Hime. Don't blame yourself for someone else's recklessness and drunk driving."

His wife's caramel eyes widened from their sleepy state in disbelief. She titled her head slightly, her hair falling carelessly over her face. Her tongue felt numb all of a sudden.

"Is that w-what happened?" she practically choked on the words. Ichigo leaned forward to brush the single strands of hair away from her small frame. However, he didn't retreat to his spot. He focused on Orihime, where tears had started to brim in her eyes. Why did she have barely any recollection of that particular time in space? Why was it missing? She should have seen the car coming. She closed her eyes tightly, shutting out the image of Ichigo. She pictured herself on the road going home. Shortly after, it had started to rain very lightly and enough that she could still see the highway. The twenty-three-year-old was excited to see her husband and for a very special reason. Orihime had just been given information on the gender of the baby, and she simply couldn't contain herself. By then, she was fifteen minutes away from the flat, which meant she was getting closer to her Ichigo. The rain was picking up speed, making it harder for the woman to see the road in front of her. It was at that realization when she heard the sound of a truck's horn. Everything after, was a blur.

Ichigo's voice brought her back to the present, "Ishida was told from the officers that brought you in."

"I'm glad Ishida-kun took care of me so well. I know all my injuries will heal correctly because I was in his hands."

Her husband eased away from her as she said this, a confused twinkle igniting in her eyes as a response.

"Hime, there's something we need to discuss..."

She didn't want to acknowledge the tension she could hear in his voice. Obviously, something had been weighing heavily on his mind. What that "something" exactly may be, she was unsure about and nervous. It could be that he wanted to talk about her condition; that she would have to go to physical therapy for months afterwards everything had been healed. If it wasn't that, she honestly had no clue what had Ichigo looking so lost.

Orihime decided to change the subject, "Oh, I almost forgot! I did manage to go to the OBGYN, and she said she was able to tell the gender of the baby this month. I just couldn't wait for another two weeks, so I -."

Her husband was not able to look at her properly as she talked. There was a sense of fear his eyes would reveal too much, even though now seemed like the appropriate time before Orihime got too ahead of herself. Ichigo dropped his chin and shook his head, "Please, listen to me."

However, the woman continued to speak, ignoring the advice Ichigo was giving to her.

"-told her I wanted to find out today and guess what?"

Now, Ichigo locked gazes with his excited wife, slowly losing the courage to tell her. How could he reveal the death to her now? It seemed nearly impossible.

"What?" He gave her a forced, poised smile.

Orihime's eyes glowed with delight and she let go of her husband's hand, "We're going to have a baby boy, Ichigo! Are you excited?" throwing her arm in the air for added measure.

What could he say to make this entire situation disappear? _Absolutely nothing._ It was the reality he was finding so hard to face and certainly sensing the regret that was swelling inside of him. Orihime was extremely precious to him, and the thing that he least wanted to do was break her mental and physical state. _Damn! She's looking for me to say something, just anything to ease that worried expression of her face!_

He managed to find the muscles in his mouth functioning once again, "There's...an issue with me being excited, Orihime."

Mrs. Kurosaki's expression fell flat, although her heart was pounding in her throat. "Why, is it because you should be ecstatic?"

"No, that's not the reason at all."

She couldn't exactly pin point what was going on. Ichigo had been pleasantly surprised to be having a baby when Orihime first told him some time ago. He wanted to do everything for her; make sure she had what she needed, ran out if she wanted a certain dessert, and held her hair back when she was hunched over the toilet. There was nothing to complain about when it came to her husband's care for her, except now maybe there would be. He remained soundless as Orihime took a moment to process the innumerable possibilities.

_I can't stand this any longer. Something is wrong._

"Ichi-kun, what is it?"

The gentle giant rose from off the bed and numbly walked over to the door. Quickly and stoned-faced, he closed off the noise from the hallway with it. He guaranteed his wife would need some privacy after what he would say to her. He rejoined back to Orihime's side and took her hand once again. Ichigo opened his mouth, his tongue feeling dry, and began his attempt to tell Orihime the loss of their child.

His eyes fell to the floor the second he started to speak, "In the accident...the impact...was too much..."

A crease on Orihime's forehead grew present. Ichigo's fingers had tightened around her scrawny wrist as he tried to talk to her in a calm voice. However, even in his endeavor to keep his wife relaxed, he could sense it wasn't working. He lifted his eyes from the ground and instead, found affection and comfort in his wife's face. Before he continued on, Orihime interrupted him for a brief moment.

"Can you tell me what's gotten you so upset? I'm alright, Baby-san is alright too!" she reassured.

Just the mention of 'baby-san' put Ichigo into an upheaval. He jumped to his feet, Orihime wincing from the brash action as he shouted, "No, no. THIS IS ALL COMPLETELY WRONG. I should've gone with you to the appointment, none of this would have happened!"

Ichigo's breathing turned ragged as the pressure in his chest pushed down even further. His heart was unbalanced, picking up speed then slowing. Is this what it felt like to have a heart attack? He didn't know - he's never had one - yet it felt like that would be a good enough explanation for his strange breathing pattern. The rain from earlier started to brush against the building again as Orihime and Ichigo were draped in silence.

The pure beauty didn't know where she should start with the questions grinding in her head. What had been 'completely wrong' as her husband had put it? What would have never happened? Ever since she brought up the topic of their baby, Ichigo had been giving her mixed signals on the subject. Her husband had his backside to her, hands in pockets and head dropped. Orihime gathered what little energy she still had and raised her voice to the man she's been in love with for several years.

"Ichigo, please," she whimpered, "I don't understand what's going on."

Then, at his wife's demand, he spoke in the most sincere tone he could muster, "You m-miscarried the baby."

The words immediately sliced Orihime's heart into two. She instantly wanted to deny the truth that had just been revealed to her. _How...how could this have happened_, she thought to herself. The abused woman was frightened to speak, not wanting to make the situation worse than what would surely become. Orihime never had imagined that the reason for Ichigo acting strangely had been such a deadly outcome.

Without even seeing him move towards her, Ichigo's muscular arms wrapped themselves around her waist. He buried his head in her chest, where he whispered, "I love you. More than anything on this planet, Hime. Please, don't blame yourself over this. In a couple of months, we can try again."

Tears began to sweep Orihime's face in a haste. Even though she could perfectly understand her husband's reassuring words, they felt echoed in her ears. Her body was aching even more. Cautiously, she placed her hand in the spikes of her husband's damp hair. To help keep herself relaxed, she grabbed tuffulls and played with them while he stayed nestled underneath her. The married couple didn't move for some time after the tragic news. Neither one wanted to speak. The fact that Orihime hadn't said a single word since the revelation worried Ichigo immensely.

Once her sobs had settled and he no longer heard her sniffles, Ichigo peaked up at his wife. Noticing his sudden movement, Orihime glanced at her husband and tried pressing her famous cheeky smile onto her face.

"Will you keep a promise?" she questioned him unexpectedly.

Ichigo unwrapped himself from Orihime's torso and observed his beautiful spouse intently. She had ceased her tears and for the first time that entire night, she appeared deadly serious.

"What exactly are you going to make me do?" Ichigo gave her a quizzical stare.

Orihime leaned in towards him, "Make a promise to me that you won't let me forget our deceased son."

Ichigo wasn't exactly sure on how he should respond. Would it be better if she forgot? Could it heal the pain any easier? He couldn't judge where the months ahead would lead them or even if Orihime would fully recover from it all. However, he knew one thing. He wasn't leaving her side.

"I promise," he whispered, locking lips with her as she started to cry again.

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><p><em>Next chapter will be three months after the accident, I'm having trouble deciding what Ichigo's job should be. Could you guys leave me some suggestions? Thank you.<em>


	3. Broken Heartbeat

**Author's Note: **Hooray, I got a chapter up before school starts! I feel so accomplished. I've been working on this chapter for two months, and I'm not even really satisfied with it. Anyway, thank you for the continuous support with your inspiring reviews and favorites/alerts. I'm still not sure what to do about Ichigo's job. It's definitely going to have to be clarified in the next chapter. Please read, review - and most importantly - enjoy!

**Suggestion:** Listen to "I Won't Give Up" -__ Jason Marz __and/or "Collide"__ - Howie Day__

**Disclaimer****:** All characters respectively to Tite Kubo, the creator of the great Bleach.

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><p><span>Chapter 3 - Broken Heartbeat<span>

The sun had never felt like such an enemy to her before. She had always embraced it, even when her life took unexpected turns and people told her it was a lost cause to aim for the 'bright side'. However, as her husband disrupted her from her long slumber, rolling over to greet the sun was probably the worst idea. Shining brightly in her beautiful orbs of color, Orihime brought a cupped hand over her head to shield her eyes from the rays.

"Hime," Ichigo whispered, coming into his wife's view as he knelt down to her level. The woman gave him a cold stare. _He was leaving for work, already?_ After the fight they had last night, she had expected him to be at least a bit more considerate in not bothering her until she saw him later for dinner.

"Please," she yawned, "Just a little bit longer." She started reaching for the covers underneath her that had been kicked off in the middle of the night. Ichigo grabbed her hand before she could proceed and brought it next to his face.

"No, you have to get up. Didn't you say you were meeting Rangiku and Rukia today?" he questioned her with sincerity.

His wife jerked back her arm, retracting it to her side. Why was he agitating her? It was bad enough that Ichigo and she would be meeting his family for dinner tonight. However, it wasn't seeing his family that was the problem! The issue that caused nervous churning in her stomach was that Orihime's husband and her would have to pretend everything was wonderful in their relationship - even though they had fought only hours ago.

The beautiful healer made an annoyed sigh before flipping to the opposite side of her orange-haired husband, "I don't remember. I'm still mad at you."

For Ichigo, he didn't have time to twiddle his thumbs any longer. His patience had reached its limit a long time ago. Slowly, he stood from off the floor. He still needed to get his things in order before he left the house for the rest of the day. If he stayed for a second more, he knew he'd say things he'd regret to his wife. Three months after the accident and there was still a wall he felt he should never touch. Heading towards the door, Ichigo checked himself one last time in the mirror. His sleek black and white striped tie matched well with his dress shirt. He had an important meeting with a very profitable company he hoped would offer to make a deal with him. Ichigo needed to remain focused, even if a thousand thoughts and feelings were running across his body at the same time.

Quickly, he glanced over his shoulder at the mass underneath the blankets. She was still refusing to peek his way. Giving himself one last look over, Ichigo moved closer to the hallway, "Listen, I have to go. Make sure you're ready for when I get home. We're meeting Dad at seven."

There was a long pause. Ichigo was expecting something, just anything; to take the worry the Substitute Soul Reaper had looming over his head disappear.

Thankfully, quietly and with what sounded like much effort, a short sentence formed from Orihime's mouth, "Bye...love you."

Ichigo felt the pressure of his chest dissipate slightly, he therefore smiled, "I love you, too."

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><p>After much grumbling and dragging of her tired body, Orihime had arrived at her favorite restaurant for her lunch date with Rangiku and Rukia. She hadn't seen ether of them for about a half a year and getting to witness their smiling faces definitely made Orihime more relaxed than before. Even though she had given into Ichigo, it didn't mean that her mind had forgotten about their fight the night earlier. The woman was explaining some of her concerns about her relationship to her companions when she was abruptly interrupted.<p>

Rangiku slammed her cocktail down on the bar's counter, "What do you mean he doesn't want to have a baby? The Ichigo I know never breaks his word."

The wife of said man flailed her hands at her friend, trying to calm her down before the manager asked them to take their leave. The strident strawberry blonde threw her wavy hair over her shoulder and proceeded to drink out of her glass in order to keep silent. She needed to hear Orihime's explanation of this one.

"I know how it sounds," Orihime admitted, "but for that entire reason, we had a huge argument last night. We both went to bed...not speaking to each other."

In that moment, Rukia took her time to lean forward in her seat beside Mrs. Kurosaki. She flung her legs towards the anxious woman and rested her face into her palm. _That man_, she confided with herself, _he's a piece of work_. Most definitely, she understood the good place Ichigo was coming from, yet she also couldn't help but side with Orihime even without hearing the majority of the story.

"How did it all start?" Rukia put forth with curiosity.

Orihime sighed, eyes darting downwards at her untouched food. She wasn't in the best mood to discuss the event that unfolded during the night; however, she didn't want the girls to worry when they returned to the Soul Society.

The nervous wife wrung her hands together as she briefly explained, "I was telling him how my doctor had said my leg was healing and the cast would be coming off in the next week or so and that maybe we should start to reconsider welcoming a baby into our lives again."

Rukia lifted an eyebrow with mock anticipation, "What was his reaction?"

Ichigo's personal healer shrunk into her seat, uneasiness written all over her face, "Not well received."

This brought quite the response from Rangiku as she flew forward, spilling the remaining contents of her drink onto the table. With a flush face, she blew alcoholic breath into the two women's faces as she pointed a concerned finger in Orihime's direction, "I just don't get it! He was perfectly happy when you told him you were pregnant almost a year ago, what changed his mind so drastically?"

Sudden sadness overwhelmed their good friend. Rukia could see Orihime's body begin to quiver in remembrance of her pregnancy. She should've cut Rangiku from the cocktails the minute she asked for a second one. The woman had a tendency of saying exactly what was on her mind when she was drunk, and for someone like Orihime who had difficulty in such a field, it could come off as abrasive and uncaring.

"The accident," Orihime blurted out, "I can't help but think that's the reason."

Rukia immediately reassured her friend, "It wasn't your fault and it wasn't his either." She hated seeing Orihime in a funk. Three months had passed since the miscarriage and the unique woman was finally beginning to pick up the pieces. The vice-captain had even heard from Ichigo a few weeks ago that the female was returning to her teaching job in the city.

A slightly tamer Rangiku spoke up in her seat, "You think that's why?"

Mrs. Kurosaki dabbed her watery eyes with a napkin, then curiously blinked to the side at Rukia,"Why what?"

Matsumoto was about ready to blow her gasket at Orihime's insolence. The alcohol was certainly taking its effect on her and not in a good way. She would instantly regret herself if she yelled at the broken individual. The thing she needed most right now were people who she could talk to without feeling persecuted for her feelings. Her friend is in a delicate stage that unfortunately one must go through in order to properly grieve a loss. After all, she could relate to her pain. Rangiku remembered what an emotional mess she had been following the months after Gin's death.

She grabbed Orihime's face affectionately from across the table and looked her right in the eyes, "The reason **why** he won't get you knocked up!"

The former stared in disbelief at her friend, "W-why would that affect him? Sometimes things happen, I've especially come to terms regarding that fact."

Rangiku's attention flicked over to Rukia, giving her the cue to take over. The petite woman's head dropped as she sighed in gloom, "It's not the event of the crash that probably has a hold on his mind. The issue that lies within him is the part of not having been able to protect you or his son."

Orihime's heart couldn't take it. She broke down and wept until she had no more tears.

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><p>The end of the day was drawing near. Although, not as near as Orihime may have hoped. There was still one activity that had been occupying a small space in her head throughout the entirety of the afternoon. She still had dinner to attend to with Ichigo and his family. Her husband seemed just as thrilled as she was with the idea. They may have patched up the misunderstanding for a brief moment, but that didn't mean it had completely healed in their hearts. Especially Orihime's, who still felt tender from the lunch she had with Rangiku and Rukia.<p>

She got ready within the hour before Ichigo returned from work. Since fall was just around the corner and the temperatures drop quite suddenly in Japan, she decided to adorn a blue, long patterned skirt to cover up her healing leg and a short-sleeved v-neck to match. Orihime combed her hair and pulled it into a low ponytail. When she was done applying her makeup, Ichigo had stepped through the bathroom door. She hadn't heard him come home. They exchanged glances without a word and the healer decided it was probably for the best.

They arrived at the restaurant a half hour later and were greeted with open arms by Ichigo's father. As his son pulled the chair out for his wife, Isshin couldn't contain his overflowing joy about the reunion.

"Ah, it's been awhile since we've all gotten together like this!" the head of the Kurosaki clan implored with delight.

Ichigo's eyes wandered around the tables next to them, obviously embarrassed from his parent being obnoxiously loud, "Could you turn it down a bit? People are staring."

Isshin waved a hand at his son, "Who cares! So...how did your meeting go?"

At the time, Orihime lifted her head from the menu she had engulfed herself. She had forgotten about the appointment Ichigo had with the publishing company. Even if they were on bad terms with each other, she would never want her husband to fail in anything that he was committed in.

The latter reached for his drink as he pondered his answer. Then he brought it to his lips and drank a little before responding to his father, "I think it all went good. I made my case. It all depends on the atmosphere I built up for them."

Without time to add that she was proud of Ichigo, Mrs. Kurosaki was distracted by the sudden topic change brought on by Karin.

"How's everything with you, Orihime-chan?" she encouraged with a smile.

The woman sat down her menu carefully. She didn't want to send the family the wrong vibe. She was very happy to be with them. The craziness that her father-in-law brought with him where ever he went always managed to uplift the darkest of moods. Orihime hoped tonight would be one of those nights for her.

"Oh, very good! I was told my last cast will be coming off in a week," she justified.

"That's wonderful. I'm so glad!" Yuzu interjected.

Ichigo slightly squirmed in his seat next to hear,"Yeah, I'm happy too."

For some reason, Orihime didn't believe he was being sincere. She didn't desire to cause a scene. However, she felt the need to say something to clear the air.

She turned her head to his side and provoked him, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Her husband's shoulders tensed on the spot. In addition, his forehead crinkled into a frown.

Ichigo gruffly threw back, "Nothing. Why?"

"You sounded sarcastic," Orihime folded her arms, refusing now to look in his general direction.

Isshin was getting notably uncomfortable at the sight of his daughter-in-law upset. If his idiot son made Orihime cry before, there was going to be some hell for him to pay at his wife's expanse. "Is there something going on that I don't know about?" he teased softly.

Ichigo slammed his hands on the table and shouted at his father, "LIKE WHAT?"

Yuzu spoke up in a soothing tone, "I believe what Oji-san is implying...are you guys pregnant again?"

Her brother fell back into his chair, "Yeah right, Yuzu!"

There was no need for him to mistreat his sister. What had she done to deserve his attitude? Orihime had brought it on herself. She deserved Ichigo yelling at _her_. Besides, she was being selfish for wanting a baby.

The caramel-haired girl hurled her face into her hands, apologizing for her actions," Sorry, I've ruined this whole dinner."

"No, you haven't. Don't worry about it Orihime-chan," Karin broke in before her father could.

Isshin really couldn't understand what was unfolding before him at the dinner table. He thought it would be family-filled night with his oldest son and his wife. He hardly was able to see them anymore since they recently made a move to the city. Maybe living in a new surrounding was harder than they both imagined. "What's bothering you two?" he prompted gently.

Ichigo rolled his eyes in annoyance. He really didn't feel the need to discuss his personal life in a public restaurant. Now was neither the time nor the place.

Yet, Orihime seemed to prove him wrong, "We had a fight last night."

Her father-in-law's expression remained unchanged, "Is that it...?"

The new Mrs. Kurosaki shook her head in response, "It was about us having a baby again."

Isshin was still not following the argument. Having children is a wonderful experience and every person should partake in raising one. They were going to be parents before, why was getting pregnant such an issue? It wasn't making sense to the father of three.

"And you guys differentiate on the topic?" Isshin questioned.

Orihime cast her eyes to the floor. She felt ashamed of herself. The entire time she should have just kept her mouth shut. However, she knew everything would have to eventually be resolved. Or else how could they make their marriage work for both of them to be satisfied? Having Ichigo's father as the peacemaker seemed like a probable idea.

"I'd like get pregnant once more," she confided.

Ichigo made an unpleasant noise from the side of her mouth, almost as if he were scolding her like a child.

He simply added, "I'd like to wait a bit more."

Isshin turned his attention to his son, getting to the core of the problem, "Why, Ichigo?"

The man in question didn't like were the conversation was heading. He was being made out to look like the bad person. After a few moments of reflection, he uttered an answer.

"It's too close...from the accident."

Orihime's head whirled around to face her husband. Rangiku and Rukia had been correct. He was still beating himself up over the car crash and the loss of their child. Why hadn't she seen it? Was she as blind to him as he was to her regarding her feelings on the topic? She couldn't keep acting as if it bothered her. Having a miscarriage with their son was the hardest event of her life. As much as she missed him, life had to move forward. She had to become strong again.

Mrs. Kurosaki attempted to keep her emotions in check as she quivered,"I-Ichi-kun, it h-happend three months ago."

For the first time all night, her husband directed his gaze onto her face. With a stern attitude, he informed her of his decision, "I'm not ready and I know neither are you."

In a split second, Orihime's chair hit the floor. She had never - in her entire life - felt as angry as she did in that moment. Clearly, Ichigo and she were no longer husband and wife. A married couple would consult together on a decision such as having a baby. However, Ichigo had spoken his mind without talking to her about how she was affected. On top of it, he had insulted her! He made his judgment off the basis of the past three months and for the exceptional healer, it wasn't fair.

She began to gather her items from the floor. Especially since the teacher wanted to make a speedy exit.

"Orihime-chan...," Karin asserted, hoping to change her mind. The other twin sister observed the sight in distress.

When her coat and purse were collected and the seat was upright, Orihime veered her body towards Ichigo. Her face had gone pale and hot tears were on the verge of tumbling down. With a heavy mind, she lifted a single finger at her husband and pointed it directly into his chest.

"I may never recover from the damage that has been done to me. The loss of our child is apart of our lives we can never take back. As my husband, you have supported me in all that I do. For that, I am thankful. Nevertheless, Ichigo, I'm afraid what you don't understand is that having a baby is more important to me than breathing! I just can't understand why you won't support me in this. As someone I have known and cared about for many years, I have never felt so disappointed in you!" Orihime publicized to the restaurant.

Her mind had been spoken and with her speech finished, she bowed respectively to Isshin, Yuzu, and Karin before she limped away the fastest she could.

Ichigo was dumbfounded. He couldn't get his thoughts in order over what had just occurred in front of his family, much less the entire restaurant.

Suddenly, a loaf of bread struck him in the face. He glanced up to see his father making a fist at him, most likely the culprit.

"Go after her, you dummy!" Isshin roared.

Ichigo slowly pushed his chair out from underneath table. He wasn't sure what to expect once he left. Would he be welcomed by a slap across the face? A hug? The Substitute Soul Reaper really had dug his own grave.

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><p><em>So who do you agree with? Is Ichigo right for being protective over Orihime's well being? Or...is Orihime the more responsible one for moving on? Tell me your opinions!<em>


	4. Brace For Impact

**Author's Note:** Thanks once again to those who commented. I really wanted to get a chapter out before the year ended and leave it slightly on a good note for the story. Although, humor will be a given for next chapter because a big talk will be happening between Ichigo and someone else. Then, we can finally get to more happier times! I would also like to give** nypsy** a shout-out for the suggestion she gave a while back. It was a good idea and I believe it fits perfectly with the chapter. As always, please read, review - and most importantly - enjoy!

Disclaimer: All characters belong respectively to Tite Kubo, the creator of_ Bleach._

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><p><span>Chapter 4 - Brace for Impact<span>

The air was crisp and nighttime had long since fallen as Orihime darted out of the restaurant in a clumsy manner. Her face felt hot even against the cold temperature, having embarrassed not only herself, but also her husband. Did the Kurosaki's think she was crazy? They had every right to believe in that theory if they wanted. She had practically lost all sense of calm in which she so carefully practiced before she had left the house.

_"What should I do? Ichigo has the keys and I really shouldn't walk home at night," _she contemplated her options silently. She approached their car in its spot and leaned against the door. The healer lifted her head to the sky, observing the white half-crescent moon shining below at her. All the stars were in their full glory and Orihime wondered if one day she would ever be able to touch those magnificent orbs in space.

She would have shared all her crazy stories with her child, probably staying up into the late hours of the night because of how enthusiastic mother and offspring had become. Ichigo would have poked his head inside and tell the excited pair it was time for bed and the two of them would pout until the man gave in. He would shout a warning and continue about his way.

"_Those would have been one of the many memories I would have created with you, Ichi_...," she sadly thought to herself.

"Orihime!" a voice shouted to her from the front of the restaurant. The woman immediately recognized the voice. There wasn't any second-guessing who owned it. She refused to look his way as she heard the approaching footsteps that were filled with heated anger.

His hand grabbed her by the wrist with a force she wasn't quite comfortable with, "Dammit, Hime! Why didn't you answer me?"

Ichigo's wife avoided eye contact. Her emotions still were running wild and she was finding it difficult to keep a lid on them.

"Please, let go of me," she merely whispered.

The man's hand fell back at his side at hearing her soft tone. He had heard it so many times before in the past few months, and after every time, he always felt like she would break into pieces. Clearly, tonight was proof of the pent-up frustrations she had been concealing within herself. She hadn't shared any of her concerns with him until the dinner - which resulted in utter disaster. Admittedly, half of the fight had stemmed from his inability to communicate openly with his wife. Work was hectic lately and he hadn't been spending enough time with her, not as much as he would have preferred. Nevertheless, some how and some way, he still loved her as much as the day he married her.

"About back there," Ichigo started hesitantly, "Did you really mean that?"

Orihime puffed out her chest, "Of course! I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it."

Her husband should have known better than to ask such a question from her. Inside, she expressed her true feelings; it wasn't as if she had made it up just to put on a show for his entire family. At most, he likely thought she was having a nervous breakdown. She supposed it would seem rather appropriate for him to assume that of her. However, Orihime had never felt so alone in her marriage. Ichigo was supposed to stick by her side through thick and thin, and while he had been doing that for the past few months of her recovery, he was more distant than he had ever been to her. Sometimes, Orihime had even put into her mind that maybe he had a girlfriend on the side because he certainly refused to touch her behind closed doors. She shortly realized after she was only being paranoid.

"Look," Ichigo sighed irritated, "I'm not sure what to do anymore. I always try my best for you because it means a lot to me to know that you depend on me as your husband. I'm at my wits end here."

The healer sensed how frustrated he had become and even still, she could hear subliminally the message he was trying to convey to her.

He wasn't prepared to experience another pregnancy again, especially after one that ended so tragically.

"Ichigo, I'm only asking that you think about it. I don't want to pressure you into anything you're not ready for, but it would really make me feel better to know that you'll at least give it some consideration," Orihime asserted to him sternly.

He could see the hurt clearly visible in her eyes and it pained him because he was the source of all her troubles.

"Hime," he groaned, "I...just want to leave this all behind us."

Suddenly, Orihime felt the tears start to roll down. She was also on the verge of giving up on the situation. It had grown so hopeless. They were repeatedly taking jabs out on each other. When they had first started dating, Orihime could vaguely remember how all their friends had said that there wasn't any need for them to even date. The love they had established for the other partner was far stronger than that for casual dating. It was more intense and in the footsteps towards marriage. One day, after going out with Ichigo for several months, Orihime questioned her boyfriend how he felt about getting married to her. First, he became embarrassed that she had asked such a question. In the process, his face had gone red. However, it didn't take much time for him to contemplate his answer.

"_I'd marry you right now if I could_."

She desperately wanted to go back to that moment in time when everything had seemed peaceful and the worst of their worries were the upcoming exams. Over the past year and half, their lives had been turned upside down before they could even catch their breath. When the unplanned pregnancy had snuck up on them, they were admittedly a little numb. Despite not wanting to start a family until the two were a little more financially stable, the couple soon came to love the idea that they were going to be parents. Those dreams were crushed when the miscarriage happened.

Ichigo quietly watched as Orihime's tears began to fall from her face and onto the black pavement. He was self-aware he was being an asshole. He didn't want to make her cry. It was never the intention and he always became weak when the water-works started from her. His father couldn't have been more accurate about him. He was an idiot.

However, he wasn't just anyone's idiot.

He belonged to Orihime Kurosaki, and therefore, she only had the right to call him one.

The Substitute Soul Reaper stepped forward and closed the gap between his wife and him. As she softly cried within her hands, Ichigo gradually took her by the shoulders and pulled her into a tight embrace. Orihime gasped underneath him from the abrupt interaction between the heated individuals. She hadn't been hugged by him in a very long time, most likely since the hospital visit where he told her the passing of their child.

"Orihime," Ichigo emitted, "You have every right to be upset with me. If it makes you feel any better, call me the worst name you can possibly think of for me."

The teacher sniffled as she nestled herself deeper into her husband's protective arms. She didn't want to talk. Being comforted by him in such a way after such a long time only made her want to enjoy it for the moment. She wasn't sure when he'd hug her again. It warmed her to know that he was trying his best for her.

"You're...," she started quietly.

Ichigo blinked, "I'm...?"

"You're a big dufus!" she blurted.

Ichigo smiled under the pale moonlight at hearing his wife's words. He figured it would be something child-rated. Even if she wanted to call him a more degrading name, Orihime would have kept it to her self. She was too kind to completely confess what she probably wanted.

"Ichi-kun," Orihime murmured, "Can we go someplace?"

The orange-haired man gently pulled back from his huddled wife, "What do you have in mind?"

Mrs. Kurosaki wiped her remaining tears away with the back of her hand as she reflected in her mind the place she wanted to visit with Ichigo. They hadn't been to the area in a while and for some strange reason, she suddenly felt the need to go and see the gravestone. She couldn't explain it. The urge had flooded her heart and she didn't want to ignore it.

Orihime lifted her head and searched Ichigo's face. He seemed very confused by her request.

"I want to go and see Makoto."

Ichigo's heart dropped at the mention of their deceased son's name, "Right now? Just...all of a sudden?"

His wife nodded her head with reassurance, "I want to talk with him for a little bit. It'll only take a few minutes. Please?"

Honestly, Ichigo wasn't keen on the idea. His wife had cried enough during the night. If she went back to the graveyard and saw the stone, he was positive she'd start to cry all over again after having just contained herself. Ichigo had only visited the place twice since burying Makoto. The wound was still fresh and the image of Orihime and he picking out a casket for the miscarried child would always be permanently engraved in his mind forever. No parent should ever have to bury his or her own offspring. It was an experience that he never wanted to relive.

"Then, I'll go tell Dad that we're going to head on out of here. Here's the keys, get inside and get warmed up," Ichigo bellowed as he handed Orihime the car keys.

As he headed back inside the restaurant, Orihime unlocked the doors. She stepped inside their small vehicle and turned on the ignition. While she waited for Ichigo, she slumped into the car seat. In a little while, they would be at the graveyard. For now, she was going to rest her eyes.

Before they officially traveled to the site, the couple stopped at a convenience store to pick up a few items. Ichigo paid for a bouquet of flowers, candles, and a box of matches for their visit. Orihime had fallen asleep in the car and he didn't want to wake her. He figured it was best to let her catch up on her sleep while she still could. Besides, two people didn't need to go inside.

After everything was paid for and Ichigo had gotten back into the car, the trip to the graveyard was finally in motion. From the little store, it would only take a matter of ten minutes. However, since their move into the big city, it had become harder to find time to visit their child. At most, it takes the married duo forty-five minutes to get to the small valley - and that's without including the traffic they could potentially run into along the way.

However, Ichigo knew he had no legitimate excuse for not visiting. Even if they lived farther away than before, he should have gone with Orihime when she had set aside the time to visit Makoto. Despite having casts on and still being relatively weak, Orihime prevailed through her struggles and saw their son at least six times during each month. What did he have to show for it? Only two visits and the constant thought of Makoto was all he had given to his son that never had a chance in the world.

If Orihime wanted to have a child with him, he needed to change his own self. He thought he'd be prepared when the baby arrived, yet secretly he was terrified at the mere notion that he was responsible for a human being that he helped create for the next eighteen years. He often wondered if his wife ever thought the same as him. She had always put on a happy face whenever baby talk was brought up and she never showed any signs of nervousness regarding how her life would be changed forever once their son arrived. Ichigo didn't desire to have such ideas in his head. He wanted to have a clear mind and a clean slate before he even considered babies.

Within in no time, Ichigo and Orihime pulled up to the parking lot that was situated on the outskirts of the cemetery. The stairway leading up to the family plots had been dimly lit by light posts that outlined the path. Unlocking his seatbelt, Ichigo pulled the keys out from the ignition and the car shut off. His wife was still fast asleep in the passenger seat and Ichigo contemplated if he should wake her up. If he didn't and he went and saw the grave by himself, she'd be upset with him for not saying anything. After all, she was the one was suggested the idea. It was only right she'd follow through with it.

He leaned forward and gave a small peck on Orihime's cheek.

"Hime~," Ichigo cooed, "We're here sleepyhead."

It appeared that his unnoticeable gesture had stirred her from her slumber as she stretched her arms out above her head. Her eyes widened at the realization of the place she had woke up in. Ichigo gave her a reassuring smile and then stepped out of the car. His wife followed in pursuit with the items he had bought and walked over to his side.

The Substitute Soul Reaper sighed out from his nose, "Are you ready to go?"

Orihime nodded her head enthusiastically and abruptly grabbed Ichigo's hand, clasping her fingers tightly around it. She wanted him to feel comfortable. He seemed evidently tense and the purpose for coming to the gravesite was not only to see Makoto, but also to influence his decision about having a child again.

The couple moved towards the staircase and began to make their way up the plot of where their son was laid to rest. As they walked up the stairs, no words were exchanged between the duo. However, the silence that they were swaddled in wasn't one full of awkwardness. Instead, remorse and sympathy encompassed them as they got nearer and nearer to the top.

When they reached their destination at the end of the staircase, Orihime and Ichigo stood at the foot of the pathway where gravesites surrounded them through three miles of land. The night was quiet and the eerie silence made Ichigo's hairs stand on the back of his neck. They were the only people. No one else could be seen from where they resting as they caught their breath. Makoto's grave was towards the very edge of the cemetery. They had to walk a little further a distance before they reached the gravestone.

The limestone the couple had purchased for their son was still relatively new in appearance if you compared it other's who had been in the cemetery for a few decades. Some of the writing of the deceased's had disappeared with age and were illegible. In addition, a few other gravestones had unfortunately been spray-painted on. If Ichigo ever caught one of the delinquents in the act, he would probably not only turn them into the police but also do a little threatening of his own.

After they approached Makoto's grave, Orihime took out the items from the bag and set them on the ground. She took the candles Ichigo had bought and placed them below the plate with their name's name engraved on it. Meanwhile, Ichigo lit a match for his wife and handed it to her when she had settled the candles in the spot she wanted. Once the wick had been burned, Orihime grabbed the lovely flowers and put them into the thin, glass vase set aside for the Kurosaki family. She could tell Isshin had been by a few times as cigarette buds were on the ground by her feet.

"Shall we kneel and say a few things?" Mrs. Kurosaki glanced over her shoulder at Ichigo.

He silently nodded and assumed Orihime's role as she knelt before their child's stone. Orihime tightly shut her eyes, clasped her hands together, and quietly sent out a few words to her son. Once she finished, she peaked open one eye to see if Ichigo had been doing the same as her. Thankfully, he too had shut the outside world out and it eased Orihime's worries some. Shortly after, her husband concluded his unspoken prayer and turned his head to the side of her.

"Before we go," Ichigo started, "I want to tell Makoto something."

Orihime questionably blinked her beautiful orbs innocently, "Is it bad?"

Ichigo lifted a finger to his lips and winked, "Just listen."

The duo looked back to the gravestone as Ichigo prepared what he wanted to say not only to Makoto, but also most importantly to his wife of five years.

"Hey, buddy. Daddy here. I hope you heard your mother and my message to you. However, to be honest with you, we haven't been on the best of terms since your passing. Mommy's been really sad lately. I feel guilty for letting her feel that way and I deserve to be called a big jerk. I want to improve things between us but I think it's going to take a while before we can even consider having a baby again. I love her very much and she's going to be the best mom. Moreover, don't think, just because if we do decide to give you a brother or sister, that we'll forget you. It will never happen, Makoto."

Within seconds, Orihime jumped up from her knelt position, which surprised Ichigo. He couldn't tell if she was full of annoyance or passion when it followed after his speech.

"Are you saying what I believe you're saying?" she asked.

"What do you think it is I'm trying to say?"

"If we work on our relationship first, you'll give me a baby?"

Ichigo dusted off his pants and rose onto his feet. He watched as the candle's fire flickered with the casual passing wind. However, the fact that it hadn't gone out completely was a good sign. It meant Makoto was watching them from above in heaven. Ichigo hoped his son was smiling at his efforts to make good with his mother instead of trying to run away from the pain that had been brought upon the small family.

"We need to sort out our own traumas before we bring a child into this world. I don't want our kid to be constantly surrounded by turmoil. Our relationship never was that to begin with. Out of all our friends, weren't we the most normal?" Ichigo stated tenderly.

Orihime giggled with affection, "Everyone was jealous of us!"

Ichigo grinned and his amber eyes turned softer, "Exactly. So what do you say? Can you wait just a little longer?"

The healer stepped up to her husband and gave him a light kiss on the lips, "I will because that's what Makoto would want."

* * *

><p>Happy New Year!<p> 


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